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My People
Written by justann on Thursday, December 17, 2009
I recently came across this thought-provoking blog post about BIID on Biodiverse Resistance.
The author, who is autistic, responds to the following quote published elsewhere:
Maybe because I spent all those years thinking about disability long before I was diagnosed with one? Either I had a touch of BIID myself or I just somehow subconsciously knew, from the age of 4?
By saying that it has “incredibly strong parallels” with their own life. They go on to say:
Actually finding out that I was disabled made all that make sense, and massively lessened the guilt and feelings of “creepiness” I had had about it - I could explain it in terms of having always known on a subconscious level that I was both impaired and disabled in the sense of socially excluded (even if neither I nor others around me knew of my impairment), and disabled people really were “my people” - that I could now identify with them in the intense way I did without feeling like I was hijacking or appropriating someone else’s identity (although, because of my impairment being invisible and having spent most of my life undiagnosed, I do still quite often feel like that, but I can fight it) - however, BIID/”transabled” clearly doesn’t fit me, as it involves wanting/needing to have a particular impairment, whereas for me it was and is all about the social/identity side of disability…
Parts of this resonated with me very strongly. I was enormously happy when earlier this year I was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome. At last I felt I could spend time in disability forums and so on without feeling like a fraud, or a stalker. However, my diagnosis didn’t take away my need to be unable to walk - if anything it perhaps made it stronger.
Two other points came out of reading that article for me. The first was how refreshing and good it was to see people with better known disabilities reacting so positively to the idea of BIID.
The other was wondering whether there is some kind of connection between having BIID and being on the autistic spectrum. I think I remember that a few of the other contributers here have mentioned having Asperger’s or other forms of autism.
Tags: Asperger, Autism, BIID, Wheelchair
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3 Comments
2 On 17 December, 2009, Phil said:
Even Dan thought he might have Aspergers’, if I remember correctly.
Now he is an amputee, all these theories and labels just have vanished. He is happy with himself and with others.
I don’t know how others experience it.
Aspergers’ and other forms of autism might be mixed up with the consequences of BIID. We persons with BIID had always the feeling to be wrong (our body was wrong). We desired something we knew that we should not desire. Isn’t it quite natural that this creates something like a wall (and be it of glass) between the others and us? The others who (seemingly) live so naturally identical with themselves.
We have to hide something, we have to struggle all the time. This makes us concentrate on ourselves much more than other people have to.
Is that aspergers’ or autism?
Why do we need an allowance, a label before we dare to feel familiar and welcome with people with other disabilities?
Even if we were not labeled as disabled, ill or something else, we would have all the right to follow our interest in persons with impairments. It’s us ourselves who obviously still thinks this is not allowed.
I see it as the old guilt and shame that is connected with BIID, and as a mirror to the attitude of big parts of society towards disabled people in general.
I have always felt comfortable around people with disabilities. There’s a directness there that I don’t have with other people. I’ve been in a room where I’m the only AB person there and I thought, there’s something wrong here. One of these things is not like the other.
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1 On 17 December, 2009, Chloe said:
These are very interesting thoughts, Ann.
Like depression, Asperger’s is a recurring theme on this site. It makes one wonder about the possibility of comorbidity with BIID, and how there could be a connection, if there is one. It’s not obvious to me. I have an ensemble of Aspie traits, such as difficulty referencing pronouns; and my partner often makes comments about me having Asperger’s. However, I don’t believe I actually have it at all.
The diagnosis of something completely different from one’s BIID also strikes a chord with me. I have been to disability forums regarding fibromyalgia long before I discovered transabled.org. Fibromyalgia is something I would get rid of in a heartbeat if I could, but all clouds have silver linings. One of those benefits is being able to go to disability forums and interact with a variety of differently abled people, without any questionable self representation. They are, like you say, “my people”.
It is interesting that you think your diagnosis may have intensified your BIID. Could you comment on the psychological mechanism of that?