Blog > Thoughts > Other's Thoughts > Ada's Thoughts > Dr. Man’s office
Dr. Man’s office
Written by Ada on Wednesday, November 12, 2008
In addition to living with BIID, I live with depression. I was first diagnosed with depression when I was 15. Of course, my depression did not begin at 15. My depression began before my birth. I was having trouble in school, crying virtually every waking moment of the day. I began to talk with a counselor at school. He met with me regularly. I didn’t really like him. I didn’t dislike him either. He was okay. I was simply so troubled that I went to him because he was the only resource I had at the time. We had not been meeting and talking long, when he realized he was far beyond his depth counseling me, so he rang my parents. I was embarrassed and upset to learn he called them. My parents were shocked to learn that their seemingly normal daughter was <gasp> suicidal.Quick action by them resulted in my beginning to see a psychologist.
It is interesting that I do not remember his name, because my relationship with him had a great impact on my life. Anyway, for this purpose, I will call him Dr. Man. Two days after the phone call to my parents, I was whisked to Dr. Man’s office in the dark of night for my first appointment. Upon our introduction I did not like him immediately. And I did not like him a LOT. He gave me a patronizing two finger hand bob as a “handshake.” I knew right then this was not a man that could help me, but I attempted to keep an open mind. During our third session, he suggested that what I needed was a “trip.” Not a holiday. A trip. A trip to a hospital. He wanted to have me institutionalized. That was my last session with Dr. Man.
In the car, I told my mother that I would not *under any circumstances* see Dr. Man again. She resisted, thinking I was refusing treatment. I explained, I needed help, and I knew it, but Dr. Man could not help me. I needed to find someone else. My mother respected me and we had the resources to quickly find me another doctor who could, and did help me. My new doctors office was next to Dr. Mans, and I DO remember his name. He was the first person I ever spoke to about my thoughts with regard to my BIID. Of course, he didn’t diagnose me, but the details of that will be saved for another post. Occasionally, I would see Dr. Man around the office and I enjoyed knowing that HE knew, that *I* knew, he couldn’t help me.
Moving quickly to my point, I was touched and pleased about Chloe’s recent trip to her GP. She had a positive experience, and I am glad for her. She inspired me to share my experience with Dr. Man. Even though I was in a bad way at the time, somewhere inside me I knew I had to find someone to who could help me. For those that have a positive experience with medical professionals, great. For those that do not, I hope they will feel empowered to continue on. Setting aside the specific point of treatment/cure with regards to BIID, we can try to manage what is within our grasp. It can be easy to dismiss our own position within the medical profession. But we are the consumer. We are the ones that not only need, but deserve what we seek. We must be diligent to try and find medical professionals that can best treat us as individuals as a whole, with all that ails us. Sure, we have limitations: resources, funds, insurance restrictions, geographical considerations, the list goes on. I have many resources available to me that others do not. But for this post, I am attempting to be positive and say, Seek, Find, Carry on! Believe you have it within you to empower yourself. Know that you can do it! Know that it is your right remove a dismissive or discouraging GP from your life and replace them with someone that will treat, respect and support you. All of you. We all deserve to find people that will assist us to the best of their capabilities, add to our lives in a positive way and not hinder us even more with our already laborious daily lives.
Of course, in time we will see what I have to say after I talk to my own GP, but for now….. Suzy Sunshine signing off.
Tags: Depression, empower, GP
This entry appears in Ada's Thoughts. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.
3 Comments
I have had some horrendous experiences with health care professionals. What comes to mind is when I was trying to find out exactly what intersex condition(s) I had. In my early twenties I saw several physicians and a psychiatrist to try to sort this out. One of the physicians simply told me not to worry about it. Yeah, thanks a lot! I did find out some things about my condition, but at the expense of feeling utterly humiliated and made to feel like a circus freak. I was sufficiently traumatised by the experience that I refused to see any physicians for a decade afterwards. The psychiatrist was even worse. He said that since I seemed to have lesbian tendencies, that meant I was supposed to be male. Huh! Never mind the fact that I had boobs, periods, feminine hips, no facial hair, and a completely female gender identity. He wanted to reassign me as male based on my sexual orientation! I kid you not. I couldn’t possibly make up something this ridiculous. This put me off mental health care professionals for a while too. I have since learnt to show such people the utter disrespect they deserve. (Sorry about the rant! I guess it still upsets me).
Ada, I really admire your maturity for figuring out what you needed to do at fifteen, especially in the depths of a depression. It took me until my thirties to understand such things. Yes indeed, we are the consumer. Health care professionals should not be telling you what to do, who to be, or how you should be feeling. If they do, you can fire them. It is well worth finding someone who is respectful.
Sean, spot on with your points!
Post your comments
© transabled.org - 1994-2012 - All Rights Reserved.
1 On 12 November, 2008, Sean said:
I look forward to hearing how things went for you, Suzy Sunshine ;)
I think there are three keys to being successful in our exchanges with the medical community:
1- We have to pick the right person to talk to.
2- We have to be confident about ourselves. If we’re uncertain and negative, chances are they’ll pick up on that.
3- We have to be knowledgeable about BIID and be ready to educate the people we speak to.