transabled.org

Wow…

But then, you didn’t ask to have BIID. You are living with the cards you’ve been dealt. You didn’t deserve to have BIID.

Is it wrong to want to be a millionaire? I’d like to be a millionaire. Not going to happen. What if I was offered a choice between a million dollars and paralysis? Would I really have a choice? Or would I just have to play the cards I’ve been dealt?

He may not have been unhappy for the reason you guessed. Everybody has bad hours, moments, days. Maybe this was one of his.

I struggle with this one too, Ada.

Some wise words I once heard. No one can tell you how to feel. Your feelings are yours and you are entitled to them. They are natural to you and you should never feel guilty about them, however extreme they might appear to be. What is under your control is how you behave in reaction to them.
I reckon that applies to BIID as much as to anything in life.
Put it another way; if by becoming paralysed I could give someone else back their pre-accident functioning I would do it today.
Unfortuantely this isn’t going to happen. It’s not like giving someone you love the spare kidney you can do without.
People who are disabled are not going to be any less disabled because a few hundred people across the world with BIID get what they need.

Confused now – did I mean less disabled or should I have said more in my last sentence above?

I am tired and I have had a hard day at work. But I hope you get my meaning!

I found that, I used it once.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/EMLA

In Spain there’s no prescription required, but it’s a little bit expensive 15€, and there’s not enough for half body.

If you found that, it could be helpful. Unfortunately only lasts two or three hours. But NOT-feel under the belly button and then when my fingers goes up and start to feel… indescriptible.

I’ve read it could be dangerous in excess, but it’s some relief I can acquire and it’s easy to hide

[webmaster note: Try this at your own risks. We do not condone, nor recommend the use of such chemicals without intimate knowledge of anaesthesia.]

Lulu, I have done this quite a few times, and liked it a lot. However, I find that it does not reduce sensation quite to zero, as happens with an injectable anaesthetic. (No, I have not done nor recommend self injection of anaesthetics).

I’ve just ordered some from a UK on line chemist. You have to tell them why you need it – I’ll let you know how I get on.

It probably varies quite a bit between countries as to whether one needs a prescription or not for EMLA. As Lulu says it can get expensive, but I have tried two other similar things which seem to work just as well. My favorite, because it is the cheapest, is made up by the local compounding pharmacy.

The most common reason for requesting these products is for electrolysis or laser hair removal. Although I had very little body hair to start off with, I like everything below the neck to be completely hairless, so I have had such things done. My GP gives me a prescription which she refills without question, regardless of how much I use “recreationally”. In the USA, some electrolysis and laser technicians are also authorised to prescribe this. However, it may be more difficult to get an infinite supply that way.

That’s one of life’s sick, tragic ironies. We often only get what others want. We can’t change that, and thinking we can is a breeding ground for depression. All we can do is learn to live with the hand we are dealt and try out best to bluff fate.

He didn’t ask to be paralyzed in an accident, but by the same token you didn’t ask to be able bodied nor did you ask to wish otherwise. You ARE living with the cards you have been dealt, you just need to take a moment to pick them up of the table and remind yourself what they are. One of them is the desire to be like him. Maybe in the future medical technology will give him the use of his legs back, and more progressive system will allow you to lose the use of yours, but we all must live in the now.

I can’t agree with you that your feelings are wrong. They aren’t common, and most would claim they aren’t ‘normal’ but wanting to experience something is part of the human experience.

Also, on the subject of disabled people hating those who wish the become disabled: Granted, I don’t have much experience with this, regrettably I haven’t been given an opportunity to engage in a dialogue with disable persons regarding BIID nor have I been granted the courage to proactively seek it even if I would like to, but it seems to me that this might be simple misplaced feelings. It is not uncommon for misunderstandings to breed hatred, some people feel that wanting to be someone else marginalizes that other person, and all groups harbor individuals who resent another group for not appreciating what they have. Disability is also a problematic social dichotomy. Society is moving to view disable people as nothing but a different set of individuals like the rest of us and not an less of human beings, while at the same time being disabled is viewed as something horrible that should be fixed, and that leaves us stuck right in the crossfire.

@Cath: What a wonderful concept. I hate waste, and helping people is good. I’d love to be a DAK amputee, and at the same time there are people who wish they had legs. They have been doing hand transplants for a few years, but the donors are the recently deceased. Maybe if people with BIID become accepted we can choose to donate our unwanted limbs to help. Granted, that won’t help people with other disabilities (for now), but it’s a nice thought I think.