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Home / Thoughts / Of therapy and drugs

Of therapy and drugs

Written by Sean on Saturday, September 2, 2006

Someone asked me in a recent comment if I had "ever been on/tried medications such as anti-depressants or anti-anxiety medications?" The short answer to that is yes on both counts. The very long answer is strewn throughout the site. A search using only the word "therapy" brings out over 15 results. A search on "medication" also returns several results. Nonetheless, I’ll talk about it some more here, as it is an important issue.

It is hard to say something fresh about it, as I’ve covered the topic in many ways before. Before continuing on reading this particular entry, you might want to read a good recap of my experiences with therapy (as of October 2005), since I’ll be building on that.

"Typical"
therapy.

In case you aren’t inclined to read that other post, here’s a quick recap:

Therapy

I had, to that point, seriously attempted therapy three times, the first two with rather disastrous results, the third time was somewhat better.

1. First therapist raped me (literally).
2. Second therapist took forever to get to me, and in the end was out of her depth
3. Third therapist was able to help on unrelated issues. I gained insights about the transabled thing, but it wasn’t anything of real use in getting past being transabled.

Medication

I tried several different courses of medication, of different dosage, and the fact is, it’s not helped. They haven’t even addressed the depression properly.

So, here we are, nearly a year later.

Filling up on
drugs till we rattle
is not the way to go.

I still believe medication isn’t the way to go. I am told that anti-depressant and anti-anxiety drugs have improved dramatically in the past few years. I’ve heard too many stories from too many transabled folks relating the same experiences with drugs. They kinda work, but not really, and the benefits weren’t worth the trouble. While some of the drugs work at taking some of the edge of depression off, the transabled feelings are still present.

Therapy, well, I’m in therapy now, but the goal isn’t to address my BIID. There are enough things to work on. And there is some level of success on the other issues. I did tell my therapist about being transabled (and it was unsurprisingly something she’d never heard of). We might discuss this particular issue some more, but I don’t believe anything could be achieved. Yes, greater self-understanding, but would that mean I’d be able to leave the chair behind? I doubt it. Would it mean I’d be happy not being a para? I doubt that as well. Would it mean I’d at least not think about being a para everyday? I doubt that just as much.

The problem with therapy is that this topic is widly misunderstood. Some shrinks think it’s related to OCD. Some therapists see it as a sexual abheration. Some others just don’t have a clue. There are some very few therapist whom I think get BIID, but they are few and far between, and getting access to the few names one hears in documentaries and through the grapevine is difficult at best. There is no established treatment protocol. And it very much feels like those trying to get resolution through therapy are in fact guinea pigs for the psychology community who experiments on us, trying to find answers. But I’m not sure they are asking the right questions. I’m certain that I don’t want to be a guinea pig.

To wrap this up, I’ll answer the question again: Yes, I have tried medication. And yes, I have been, and still am, in therapy. And the results are far from satisfactory.

[tags]Therapy, Shrink, Drug, Medication, Treatment, Transabled, BIID, Body+Identity+Integrity+Disorder, Depression, OCD[/tags]