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I did write this on the_biid_affair yahoo group. When I saw how Sean titled it, I felt a bit put out by the way it was phrased, but not sure how to change it for the better.

Yes, I suffer from clinical depression, but the title makes it sound like I’m regretting the amputation. BIID is one thing, clinical depression is another. two different causes, two different cures.

paradoxiacally BIID is easier to cure. Surgeons are GOOD at amputating once you damage yourself enough. Shrinks are still pretty rubbish at dealing with clinical depression.

Feel free to suggest better titles.

I think Sean meant by this title that since your still depressed it is not caused by your BIID. I don’t think he meant it in any way to annoy you.

Hey Tegumai, the important thing is not to lie to yourself and things will come right. Now that you have realised a couple of things, you are on the right tracks and things should improve

Best of Luck
“Lily”

How ’bout “Depression is secondary”? (That’s the impression I got from yout post.)

I guess I used the wrong turn of phrase there with ‘put out’. Not annoyed, just feels like not in the spirit of what I wrote.

I’m happy to be an amputee. It’s much better than not being one.

The depression definitely is secondary. Maybe I should write something about not being in any group any more. Am I a real amputee, since I haven’t lost anything I wanted to keep? I’m not a wannabe anymore. I can pass myself as able-bodied, still, but there’s things that set me apart there.

Hmm. Who knows?

My apologies if the title I used didn’t represent what you meant. I certainly didn’t intend to mean that you regretted your decision.

I think anyone who takes the time to read the entry draws the right conclusion. Taken out of context, I can see the confusion, but taken out of context, all of our “remarks” here could sound like we’re all whining too-which I don’t think any of us are. Then again, I guess I shouldn’t speak for everyone! :) That’s one of the drawbacks of the internet-communication is much more than verbal or written language, but online we only have the one dimension to work with.

Oh, I definitely whine too much.

One of the many things on the list of personality flaws to fix.

Maybe I should get a bucket of dry ice and stick my head in it. Worked for the foot ;)

Sean tells me to chop things off all the time “If it hurts,chop it off!”

If I tried that with all the parts that hurt, some days I’d be nothing than a pile of bits and pieces (or maybe a puddle?) on the floor!

WHY DONT YOU STOP THE WHINING????????????

yOUR CUP IS ALWAYS HALF EMPTY NOT HALF FULL.

AS I SEE IT YOU HAVE A WIFE WHO HAS STOOD BY YOU AND A BEAUTIFUL SON WHO YOU SHOULD COUNT AS A BLESSING.
SHIT HAPPENS AND U FLEW HALF WAY ROUND THE WORLD TO ESCAPE
THE SHIT. SOME OF US DONT HAVE THAT LUXURY.

AS FAR AS I AM AWARE YOUR FAMILY HAS STOOD BY YOU EXCEPT ONE VERY PISSED OFF SISTER WHO HAS HER REASON WHICH YOU KNOW VERY WELL.

Thanks, sister.

I guess you missed all the parts where I’m saying I’m trying to FIX that.

Clinical depression is real. It takes a lot of work to fix. I’m putting in the effort.

As you just put, you have some shit that you can’t escape. Maybe you need to go to counselling to help deal with your ‘shit’ just as I am doing to deal with mine.

I’m not a good person, I’m not a nice person, as I wrote at the beginning, even members of the BIID community think I’m an asshole, but I am TRYING to improve.

What are you doing?

Getting on with my life.

I have a good marriage and 4 brilliant kids.

councilling or money coulndnt help Matthew but the way I look at is there is always someone worse off than yourself.

If are depressed GET SOME HELP and stop blaming everything and everybody else.

Your the educated one do some reading and help yourself

Maybe I’m not writing well.

I though I wrote that I was getting help.

I thought I wrote that I realise it’s ME at fault, not anyone else.

I’m doing everything you just told me to do. Have been for months. It’s a slow process.

Wow…a brief look into the family dynamics of one with BIID. I guess it’s true that life doesn’t occur in a vaccuum. But why the public airing of what seems to be a private matter? And with such aggression?

Hi Tegumai mate, Wow- sounds like you had a lot of grief one way or another… over this period. Hope things with the family are looking better now and they’re getting to grips with the whole BIID thing! I understand how depression & BIID can be both completely seperate, and yet how you deal with the BIID and other people’s reactions to it can be affected by the depression… I find it that way usually…
If you want to chat I’m around most evenings I can get a moment to myself… (about 4ish- your time, I think!) or email!
Take care,
Ana
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