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Monosymptomatic OCD
Written by Jake D on Saturday, September 2, 2006
On my latest visit to my psychiatrist, he described my condition of BIID as mono symptomatic Obssessive Compulsive Disorder. Is it even related to OCD at all? Consider this. If an amputee (not-by-choice) desired to have his/her original body form back and sought therapy for it, would the psychiatrist describe their condition as mono symptomatic OCD? I doubt it. My argument is that what I suffer from is simply my "state of being". It;s not OCD, its not paraphilia or anything else. It is just the "way I am".
The fluoxetine I have been on for 7 weeks is supposed to be an antidepressant. I would describe it as more of an anti-anxiety remedy. It has definitely removed the pressing nature of the BIID related anxiety I suffered from, however, my "basic instinct " of wanting to be AK still remains. Do I still think of being an AK everyday? Absolutely. I just don’t seem to experience the nail biting hypertension that I had before. Also, my paranoia about what "other people" think has been reduced in that I don’t seem to care as much about "other people" any more, other than my wife and children who would be directly affected by a change in my body form.
As well, my sexual drive and ability has been virtually "turned off" by drugs which seems to confirm what I have always thought that BIID is NOT a paraphilia, but that for me the sexual aspects described by others relating to BIID has nothing to do with BIID as a paraphilia, rather the reverse is actually true in that it is simply difficult to fully encounter physical intimacy in a body that is not yours so that living in a body that is not yours detracts from a "normal" sexual experience. This, in my mind, is a totally different aspect than paraphilia whereby the abbreviated body form acts as a stimulant. Any other thoughts on this?
[tags]Amputee, BIID, Body+Integrity+Identity+Disorder, OCD, Obsessive+Compulsive+Disorder, Sexual, Transabled[/tags]This entry appears in Jake's Thoughts, Other's Thoughts, Thoughts. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
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1 On 15 January, 2007, rorschach said:
Here is a quick clip from the DSM: IV regarding obsessions and compulsions. More can be found here.
http://anxiety.psy.ohio-state.edu/ocd1.htm
A. Either obsessions or compulsions:
Obsessions as defined by (1), (2), (3), and (4):
1. recurrent and persistent thoughts, impulses, or images that are experienced, at some time during the disturbance, as intrusive and inappropriate and that cause marked anxiety or distress
2. the thoughts, impulses, or images are not simply excessive worries about real-life problems
3. the person attempts to ignore or suppress such thoughts, impulses, or images, or to neutralize them with some other thought or action
4. the person recognizes that the obsessional thoughts, impulses, or images are a product of his or her own mind (not imposed from without as in thought insertion)
Compulsions as defined by (1) and (2):
1. repetitive behaviors (e.g., hand washing, ordering, checking) or mental acts (e.g., praying, counting, repeating words silently) that the person feels driven to perform in response to an obsession, or according to rules that must be applied rigidly
2. the behaviors or mental acts are aimed at preventing or reducing distress or preventing some dreaded event or situation; however, these behaviors or mental acts either are not connected in a realistic way with what they are designed to neutralize or prevent or are clearly excessive
My therapist arrived at the same conclusion as your psychiatrist. At first I was very apprehensive to that notion, but over time I have grown to agree with it somewhat. Is it damaging my life? Well, so far it hasn’t per se. Sure it causes me stress, and dictates a bit of how I live my life; however, I haven’t really had an instance in which it has impaired my functioning in life yet.
That being said, I still see this as something that is somewhat disabling. More though in the sense of, “What could I be without this?” It’s odd, I know, to have a speculative disability, but I suspect that there may be some truth to this notion.