As for what your mum and grand mother do, or not do, to compensate for their condition, it really should not impact on you. Everyone handles pain and conditions differently.

I wish I had an answer for you, particularly as it relates to pain. Don’t *ever* hesitate to post here, or ping me in private if you need to talk.

I am not in such a position to pay for a chair to use. I don’t think my family would agree with it, considering my grandmother refuses to use one (she’s 87 years old and fighting it all the way) and my mom won’t even use one of those motorized carts at the grocery store. If I got a chair after a diagnosis of something far less painful than what they are facing, it could have serious consequences for me when it comes to those relationships. Also, if I am seen out and about wheeling by the folks I work with, how will I explain my ability to walk all day long at work but not out to a restaurant or the movies? It’s very complicated and not about pretending. I just have to find ways to cope, and I know meds aren’t it.

I will keep everyone posted as time goes on. Meanwhile the wife went to bed early again. I don’t have to work tomorrow but she does. I was up all night last night in pain and tonight is the same story. I never sleep anymore because of it, but I would rather take a hot shower and hope for relaxation than take a pill that makes me throw up in the morning. I think you’d all agree that’s the better alternative.

Regarding telling your wife… It’s a hard thing to do. But I think it’s an important thing to do. The longer you wait, the harder it gets. The longer you wait, also, the more she’ll feel trust breached, and as such it’ll make it harder for her to accept.

Of course, if you tell her now, you run the risk that your very real symptoms may be belittled in some way.

It’s never easy.

But I’m glad you’re back.

And what Claire says about the chair is good insight ;)

Congratulations, I tell you somewhat wryly. I also have a real condition that causes some pain and while the wheeling is great (or, having a somewhat reasonable excuse to wheel), the pain is not so great. But pain is part of disability. And we have no choice in any case. Either way.

You may be in a position to start wheeling sooner than later. Ask the docs if you stay off your feet (ie. wheeling rather than walking when you’d otherwise be on your feet for long periods of time, like at the mall) if that would slow down the degeneration any. If it’s painful, wheel for the pain, say it feels better that way.

Keep us posted.