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Home / Stories / Personal Histories / Other's Stories / Kelly’s recap

Kelly’s recap

Written by Kelly on Saturday, July 14, 2007

Greetings to all.  By way of introduction, I am a 56 year old genetic male, who has been aware of two powerful "issues" (for lack of a better word at the moment) since I was about 5-7 years old:

1. I am transgendered
2. I am transabled

Of course, I had no remote idea of either term at that age; I only knew that instead of being a (otherwise) healthy boy, inside I knew I was a disabled girl.

Those of you also in your late mid-life will immediately realize that those of us born in the early 50’s were young witness to the final US polio epidemic.  My family first got television when I was 5 and in kindergarten, and I very clearly recall the first multimedia campaign being that of the Mothers March Of Dimes.  Seeing a young girl in her pretty dress and braces, I immediately recognized my true self as being identical to that girl on TV.

Fifty years on, I still have no clue as to the *why* of all this, only that it undeniably "is".

I began correct-dressing (which would have been viewed as crossdressing, had I been discovered….) before my teens.  My mothers things were comically too large, but I was much happier wearing her ill-fitting things than my boys right-sized clothes.

I had no such avenue for attempting to become more physically correct.

I grew into and out of my moms things during my early teens.  I suffered in all male clothing until my divorce at age 43.

Like many, I made some attempts at trying to become disability-fulfilled.  Yardsticks taped to legs… chancing some time on friends’ crutches with their occasional broken legs.

Once I became free to hit "restart" on my life at age 43, I immediately began a journey towards fulltime feminimity.  I doubt that I will ever be able to fully transition, but I am certainly more fulfilled than ever before in my life.  Due to a difficult financial time, I had to delay my quest for braces. 

Fortunately, a fellow need-to-be was moving on from AFO’s to KAFO’s, and he sent me the braces he no longer needed.  Still….as much as I surely appreciated (and used) them, they weren’t made for me.

Finally, in February 2001, I celebrated turning 50 by ordering my own custom KAFO’s from Bob (many of you will know of whom I speak).   Finally, after so many years, I am "able" to be my true self, if only from time to time in the safety of my own apartment.  I am happiest when I am fully feminine, and wearing my braces.

As a bit of an aside, I have in fact been in public many times fully en femme (tho only at night to the ‘alternative’ bars in my city), and I have also been out many times in my braces, even in shorts.   But, as yet, not in public as my true self, a braced woman. 

(Interestingly, I have a scar which might actually "support" a surgery for spina bifida, should I determine this to be the disability requiring my braces.) I am pleased, and not terribly surprised, to be learning there are a fair number of us who are both transgendered and transabled.  It’s an interesting phenomona, and I rather expect we shall be hearing more about we dual-trans folk !

Tags: Transabled, Transgendered, Braces, AFO, KAFO, Disabled