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Kelly’s recap
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Written by Kelly on Saturday, July 14, 2007
Greetings to all. By way of introduction, I am a 56 year old genetic male, who has been aware of two powerful "issues" (for lack of a better word at the moment) since I was about 5-7 years old:
- I am transgendered
- I am transabled
Of course, I had no remote idea of either term at that age; I only knew that instead of being a (otherwise) healthy boy, inside I knew I was a disabled girl.
Those of you also in your late mid-life will immediately realize that those of us born in the early 50’s were young witness to the final US polio epidemic. My family first got television when I was 5 and in kindergarten, and I very clearly recall the first multimedia campaign being that of the Mothers March Of Dimes. Seeing a young girl in her pretty dress and braces, I immediately recognized my true self as being identical to that girl on TV.
Fifty years on, I still have no clue as to the *why* of all this, only that it undeniably "is".
I began correct-dressing (which would have been viewed as crossdressing, had I been discovered….) before my teens. My mothers things were comically too large, but I was much happier wearing her ill-fitting things than my boys right-sized clothes.
I had no such avenue for attempting to become more physically correct.
I grew into and out of my moms things during my early teens. I suffered in all male clothing until my divorce at age 43.
Like many, I made some attempts at trying to become disability-fulfilled. Yardsticks taped to legs… chancing some time on friends’ crutches with their occasional broken legs.
Once I became free to hit "restart" on my life at age 43, I immediately began a journey towards fulltime feminimity. I doubt that I will ever be able to fully transition, but I am certainly more fulfilled than ever before in my life. Due to a difficult financial time, I had to delay my quest for braces.
Fortunately, a fellow need-to-be was moving on from AFO’s to KAFO’s, and he sent me the braces he no longer needed. Still….as much as I surely appreciated (and used) them, they weren’t made for me.
Finally, in February 2001, I celebrated turning 50 by ordering my own custom KAFO’s from Bob (many of you will know of whom I speak). Finally, after so many years, I am "able" to be my true self, if only from time to time in the safety of my own apartment. I am happiest when I am fully feminine, and wearing my braces.
As a bit of an aside, I have in fact been in public many times fully en femme (tho only at night to the ‘alternative’ bars in my city), and I have also been out many times in my braces, even in shorts. But, as yet, not in public as my true self, a braced woman.
(Interestingly, I have a scar which might actually "support" a surgery for spina bifida, should I determine this to be the disability requiring my braces.) I am pleased, and not terribly surprised, to be learning there are a fair number of us who are both transgendered and transabled. It’s an interesting phenomona, and I rather expect we shall be hearing more about we dual-trans folk !
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7 Comments
2 On 17 July, 2007, Eric said:
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Hi Kelly. I also identify this way, but male-to-female. I would be interested in communicating with you regarding your experiences. You can e-mail me anytime.
Rorschach… I haven’t been out as disabled female because I am not comfortable in “passing” as a woman other than the darkest of nights.. ! :) I also have no place to practice wheeling. I do fine with my crutches, so that remains a possibility.
Eric…I think you mis-”spoke”, I looked at your great website and see you are female-to-male. No matter, we face many of the same issues. (I have always said tho that I feel bad for FTM’s as the ’state of the art’ and results are less satisfactory than for we MTF’s..at least from my admittedly limited reading on the FTM side of things!) Congratulations on your progress. I did find it curious that your site did not mention anyting about transabled….but then of course the focus IS the gender on the site.
Kelly
4 On 18 July, 2007, Marie said:
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Hi Kelly, I too am a MTF transsexual and transabled person. Welcome to the “club” !
Hi Kelly
Like you I am a 54 year old male and I share your desire to be a disabled woman in her braces and/or wheelchair. I would love to correspond with you.
Margaret
Margaret - You (as well as anyone else) may correspond with me directly at braces4me8@yahoo.com I look forward to hearing from you
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1 On 16 July, 2007, Rorschach said:
Interesting. Why haven’t you gone out as your ideal self yet? Also, I like the term need-to-be it helps elucidate the condition a lot better than wannabe.