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Is BIID a gift?
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Written by Sophie on Thursday, April 19, 2007
I see my transabledness as a gift. I don’t know how, and I know that that is strange, but I do. A Christian friend of mine online told me today that she would pray that God would heal me of my transabledness. I appreciate it, don’t get me wrong about that, and she’s an awesome friend. But it brings such mixed feelings. Would she be praying that her idea of a cure would happen, is her idea of a cure the same as God’s idea of a cure? Who’s to say a cure is ridding me of these feelings entirely? Who’s to say that my transabledness isn’t a part of God’s plan? I was chatting with an older Australian friend (she has an SCI) as well and she told me:
"If I were asked to take my disability away I would choose to keep it now. Even with all the heart ache and pain. I have learnt so much. It’s taken me all this time to be who I am now.
You see I didn’t give it a thought when u told me - It was a disability to me. You need a cure, you have accepted this. I believe we should look at people with our hearts and not our eyes, this is what I believe. It’s made me who I am today and I’m grateful."
I don’t think any of us know 100% what is in store for us, but I do know that the journey we take isn’t in vain. The journey isn’t just about the destination. Personally I have learnt a lot. I fear that if I wasn’t transabled I would have turned into one of those hypocritical Christians who talks a lot. It’s something I can see happening now that I’ve learned a little more about how my parents tick. As my friend told me, all the hard stuff we go through, we will gain two fold from it. I don’t know what God has in mind for me, whether he has some sort of "cure", or he’s left me the way I am for a purpose. I’m open to any possibility that God has in store for me, I just ask him if he does want to cure me in the way that my Christian friend thinks…that he’ll ease me into it, I can’t imagine not being who I am, especially after spending so much time accepting this.
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17 Comments
2 On 20 April, 2007, Claire said:
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Sophie, I too ponder what meaning or purpose may be in my having BIID. But I would not term it a gift, unless you consider it a gift to be tested, refined, or taught something through adversity. Yes, a case could be made for trials being a gift from God to make you a better person. But it takes a lot of faith to see it that way.
Personally, I don’t think I really believe in a god/creator/whatever, which perhaps skews my perspective on this matter somewhat. That said, I have some serious issues with the attitudes put forth by many of those who claim to have such beliefs.
If I accept that there is a god who created all, and has a master plan for the world, then it necessarily follows that I was created as he intended. Therefore, for me to be as I am (transgendered, transabled, bisexual, and a few other ‘ungodly’ conditions) is how this god designed me. Where, then, do mortal humans find the presumptiveness to tell me that the way god made me is a violation of god’s own plan?
While it may not be a ‘gift’, if we accept that god exists and has a plan for us, it most certainly IS part of that plan. My preference has been to believe that there is no plan, and no god, rather than to believe that there is a god so hateful and sadistic as to impose this kind of suffering by design.
There is a passage in the bible: Matthew 16:21-23 21From that time on Jesus began to explain to his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer many things at the hands of the elders, chief priests and teachers of the law, and that he must be killed and on the third day be raised to life.
22Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. “Never, Lord!” he said. “This shall never happen to you!”
23Jesus turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men.”
If there is a God, he may have plans for us that may be very far from what people like, expect and want. I like this passage, it shows exactly that man´s thinking may be different from Gods thinking. Follow your heart…
5 On 21 April, 2007, Sophie said:
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wow, thank you inVivo for reminding me of this passage :)
I go back and forth on the subject. Some days I really feel thankful that I am given such a unique perspective from which to view the world. It has definitely affected my world view and quite assuredly has even greater effects of which I am not aware.
Other days though…things get rather grim. It feels like a burden, though not one of which I would readily rid myself. By this point, like it or not, part of my identity includes this. To be “cured” feels kind of like being lobotomized.
7 On 23 April, 2007, Claire said:
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Rorschach, a lobotomy is a great way of putting it. We go back to this concept fairly frequently, that to be “cured” of our BIID robs us in some way (for some of us, in a BIG way) of our identity, but I think it bears repeating. I’m afraid to let it go.
A gift, and a blessing!
I have accepted my desires as part of who and what I am. I have a loving spouse who also accepts me the way I am.
Nothing gives me the tranquility and peace that pretending brings. As with many, these special feelings started at about the age of 3 or 4. As a teenager and young adult I thought there was something seriously wrong with me. I indulged myself from time to time, always feeling that I was some sort of sick whacko. I never told anybody about my desires, except my wife.
I did not know that anybody could possibly be like myself, such bizarre desires and tastes, unitl I started using the internet.
I did not need any extensive counselling nor did I seek it. I learned to accept myself, and to enjoy all that pretending meant to me. This has been an incredibly long journey. I have found a community where I belong, where my profile fits that of so many others.
Pretending is a wonderful outlet, the greates feeling of all. Nothing spritual or material quite matches it for me. At least now, that I have accepted this, but I did bottom out emotionally for years over this.
9 On 24 April, 2007, Sean said:
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Ron, I’m glad you were able to get over it without the assistance of therapy. I do think that what we have here, in this community, is worth more than many therapist can provide. But then, some people do need the kind of assistance only a trained professional can provide.
Thank you for the reply. I think the best way of dealing with this is to have a website such as this. I am impressed with the entries, being well written by obviously intelligent, thoughtful individuals. I can usually detect frauds quite easily, and I am pleased to say everything I read here is honest and from the heart. This sort of discussion is not available from any of the yahoo groups or yahoo 360 pages.
11 On 25 April, 2007, Sean said:
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Hello again Ron, if you want to blog on this site, please use the contact form and drop me a line :) Are you the same Ron that wrote the following stuff all these years ago? http://transabled.org/stories/personal-histories/others-stories/rons-comments.htm
To add to the can of worms…
I am an Atheist. The world is astoundingly beautiful without complicating it with fairies and magical creators who you have a special supernatural relationship with. I don’t even know where to begin with all of this god talk, so I will just sort of sidestep it instead (I am not in the market to offend people) That being said…
It is a gift. Not a “gift” in the sense that “someone gave it to you” but a gift in the sense that it makes you different, and people who are different are catalysts for change in this world. You have an affect on people - maybe good sometimes, maybe bad at other times - but an affect nontheless. Being TA is part of who you are. It shapes how you see the world, and quite honestly, the way you see the world is beautiful compared to most other people.
I agree. I think being transabled makes us unique from othes. I do see being transabled as a gift and I love that part of my life. It gives us a differant perspective on life and it brings more diversity to our lives.
It’s really cool to hear you guys (stump and mouse) talk with such positivity about TA. It makes me feel like a Hallmark card inside.
Also, I feel that it is a common bond between all of us. We’re like a big family even though we’re spread all over the globe. I’m increadibly happy to be a part of such a big and diverse family:)
For me, “gift” means something special, to be cherished. It makes one feel happy, and special, meant to be enjoyed in a uniquely personal way.
Many people with physical disabilities see their disability as a gift: take Mark Zupan, (murderball) for example. He calls his disability a gift in his book and in interviews.
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1 On 19 April, 2007, Marie said:
It always baffles me when religious people claim to know “God’s plan” and the discriminate with their personal biases anyways. So many young GLBT people are kicked out of their home under the pretense that they are “against god” - as if the parents are privy to whatever god they chose to believe in has in store for their ‘creation’.
Whether or not being TA (or TS) is a ‘gift’…I’m not convinced. Being TS gave me the chance to have numerous amusing encounters, but it’s also driven me to the brink of suicide. I’m glad some people are able to turn it into something positive, though.