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Home / Thoughts / I told my therapist

I told my therapist

Written by Sean on Monday, July 17, 2006

Well… As it happens, I’d been going to therapy for a few sessions. I wasn’t going because of transabled issues, rather to deal with other stuff (relationship issues). A few sessions in, had to stop going, as my fall "kinda happened", and I was out of action. Well, that incident really threw me for a loop and today was the first session back with the therapist since. After much hesitation, the time was ripe, I had to tell her, otherwise she wouldn’t have had the full picture.

She might even read this, as I pointed her to the site (hello :) ). I hesitated, I oomed and awwwwed. There was a lot at stakes. Telling anyone is never an easy business. But we talked about it before I opened up, and that was good.

I do realise I threw her a ball from the left field, and I think she took it well. Sometimes hard to tell, but she didn’t get up and run away, which is a big positive ;) I said that I didn’t think she’d have heard of it, and she agreed afterwards, she’d never heard of it. The first third of the session was spent catching up about what has happened since I fell, reviewing confidentiality policies, and a couple other things. The rest of the session was me describing what transabled is, and how it impacts on my life. She did ask questions which I felt was good.

I did point out that I don’t really think there’s anything that is going to come out of working on transabled issues. I’ve done that work, and short of going forward with some kind of protocol that would lead to surgery, well, I can’t see what would "solve" that issue. But one never knows. The thing is however that I’ve had a rather big event change the emotional landscape.

And she also pointed out that in the best of times, such an injury would throw someone for a loop. It would have a big emotional impact. Add to that the emotions tied to coming so close to being what I’ve needed to be for so long, and it complicates things. It did have a momentous impact on me. I knew it, but not in so many words. Her feedback on that helped me realise just how big, how ramifications can really tangle themselves into an ever intricate web.

So. Well, I told her. In a way, I’ve been wanting to tell her since we started work together. But it wasn’t really fitting then that I bring it up. Besides, I had to get to know her a bit more first. It’s a relief to have told her. It feels like a weight off my shoulders. It doesn’t *solve* anything. But it’s freeing to not have to keep that secret.

We’ll see what next session brings. I suspect she’ll have to do some reading to understand a bit better, but perhaps she doesn’t really have to know the ins and outs of transability to be able to work with me on it. I don’t know. That’s why she’s the trained therapist and I’m the client ;) Time will tell, time will tell.

Tags: Therapy, Therapist, Transabled, Transability, Confidentiality