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Home / Thoughts / Other's Thoughts / Sophie's Thoughts / I sometimes wonder with my parents

I sometimes wonder with my parents

Written by Sophie on Friday, April 21, 2006

I sometimes wonder with my parents. As you know I recently told them I needed to become a full time wheeler. I thought that they were at the "ignoring it" stage but I really don’t know anymore. I think they are assuming I think this is a problem that needs to be "gotten rid of". They think I’m trying to find counselling in order to "forget about" full time wheeling. I don’t regret telling them. There are a lot of issues that I would have never faced if I hadn’t started down this road.

I do stand by Sean’s comments saying you need to seriously think about whether you’re ready for it when you tell your loved ones your "deepest secrets" but I don’t think I would have faced my issues, or my depression, if I didn’t start down this path.

The other day my mother told me that she wanted to come down and spend a weekend with me. She said she gets sick of living with men and wants to have a girly weekend. What does she think I do with my wheelchair? I told her honestly that if she came and spent the weekend with me she would have to accept me for how I am. There are some places that I don’t ever walk; in a way it’s the reverse of most pretenders’ fears. I’m afraid of people seeing me walking rather than wheeling. After a long uncomfortable pause my mum told me that it’s the lying and deception that she doesn’t like about my pretending. I don’t like deceiving people, and I truly apologize for it. But ultimately it’s a choice between having to pretend in order to be happy, or totally ignoring who I am and never being happy with my life. The ball is in her court. If she wants to have a meaningful relationship with me she will come and spend a weekend with me. I don’t think spending a weekend with mother dearest is a good thing for me, but she needs to see that wheelers aren’t just decrepit dependant old ladies in rest homes. If she can’t accept that I’m trying to find my own way in life she’ll stay at home and continue to ignore the problem. Hey, at least it’s out there now… I guess.

I’m now facing new challenges. People who know me and my family are noticing me in my chair around the city. I know…the whole point of telling my parents what I’m doing is to make the whole "family friends" issue easier, but there is still a lot of uncertainty surrounding how my parents will react when people ask them about it. Will they uncover my secret? Or will I be hearing from them, again? I think so far I’ve been handling it ok, I just hope I can carry on handling it.