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Blog > Thoughts > Sean's Thoughts > How young is too young?

How young is too young?

Written by Sean on Friday, February 2, 2007

I was talking with someone about her regret not to have transitioned at a much younger age. When I mentioned that I didn’t think teenagers were allowed to embark on the gender transition route, she pointed me to an interesting news item, which was both fascinating and scary. It prompted me to consider my feelings on the idea of transitioning at a young age.

The article, titled German Boy Is Youngest Transsexual At 12 can be found on allheadlinenews.com (though I’m not sure how long it’ll be found there). In short, it talks about Kim, a 14 year old who is now legally considered a girl, although she was born in a boy’s body. She started her transition at the "ripe old age" of 12 years, with her parent’s benediction as well as her shrink’s benediction. Her father said in a couple publications that:

… as a child, Kim played with Barbie dolls, wore dresses and insisted that he was a girl.

So, there you have it, gender transition started as a young teenager. How does that relate to BIID you’ll ask?

Well, I’ve said often enough that there is a huge relationship between BIID and GID, between Transabled individuals and Transgendered individuals. I’ve suggested treatment protocols for BIID be similar to those of GID. So I have to consider, what effect would there be on these protocols if it was possible for teenagers, let along very young ones, to have access to accepted transition protocols?

My earliest memories relating to being transabled go back to when I was 3 or 4 years old. Unlike Kim, I never insisted, nor told anyone, that I was paralysed. Well, not until much later in my life. I didn’t say anything because i didn’t really understand my feelings, I don’t think. I don’t think shame came into the picture until much later, yet it’s not something you usually talk about, even as a kid. The feelings were there, even though somewhat confused.

Having said that, I must admit that I’d be very hesitant to support a transabled individual if they were in their teens and told me they wanted a leg off, or to be paralysed, or any other impairment. One of the major issues is that one needs to fully understand what one is embarking upon. I don’t believe that a kid can possibly have the intellectual or emotional understanding of the desired impairment to warrant such a big step as formal transition (even if such formal transition were available to us, which it isn’t).

What if they realised, after the fact, that they made a mistake? Their life would be pretty much ruined. Of course, no more ruined than if they had acquired their impairment in a trauma of some sort.

Can teenagers possibly have the emotional and intellectual understanding required to be sure that acquiring an impairment is the right thing to do for them?

It is my belief that many transabled individuals don’t really know what they want, even as adults. They don’t understand the impairment they think they want. They are safe in the knowledge that since no real alternative exists, they don’t really have to think about it, they can continue to fantasize about losing a leg, because it’s "glamorous", or "sexy", or they find it’s a turn on to think of themselves as paralysed. In fact, if an opportunity to become impaired presented itself to them, they’d likely turn the other way. Or likely to take it, and regret it for the rest of their lives.

Then there are those who say that they *think* they have BIID. If they have to ask whether or not they are transabled, chances are they aren’t.

I think that it is a remote possibility for a teenager to be able to really know what they want, particularly as it would involve understanding their feelings fully, and understanding the impact of achieving that goal would have in their life. So, how young is too young?

Can we just pick an age, out of thin air? Probably not a good idea. So, how about 18, the age of majority in most countries? Is 18 old enough? Is 18 mature enough? If, as in most of the United States, you’re not considered mature enough to drink alcohol at 18, can you be considered mature enough to take the drastic step to acquire an impairment? Somehow, I don’t think so.

On the other hand…

OTOH, here I am, a couple decades past my teenage years. My feelings haven’t changed at all. My understanding of impairment has changed, but my desire, my need to be paraplegic is still the same, as before. If anything, it is now stronger, more certain.

In many respect, my life has been ruined by not having become what I need to be all those years ago.

I feel I’ve wasted my time. I feel something precious was stolen away from me. 30 years ++ is a looooong time to feel incomplete.

Who is society to impose such a thing on us? What makes it acceptable that a 12 year old could embark on gender transition with the benediction of family and the medical community, where fully aware adults have no other recourse to acquire an impairment than life-threatening self-injuries?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for that kid, if it’s really what she wanted, needed. I hope that ten years down the road she’s still happy as a clam. I’m envious that she managed to get on her path at such a young age, because she’s not wasting time on some holding pattern imposed by society, she’ll be able to go forward with her life.

Yet, were I to meet the young kid that was me at 12 years old, I’d still not let him take the step towards becoming a para. Not then. Later, surely, 18, or maybe 20, I’m not sure. But out of the teenage years, that much I know.

I wrote on the topic of age and transability a few months ago. It was also title How young is too young? [tags]Paraplegic, Paralysed, Transsexual, Transabled, Wheelchair, BIID, GID, Transition, Teenager, Amputation, Impairment[/tags]

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