Comments on: How can some wannabes be so ignorant?

By: Sandy

Sandy — Thu, 07 Dec 2006 12:53:09 +0000

I have been gathering information on SCI almost all my life. Despite that it took much time, research and the Internet to obtain good knowledge about it – there are still many details I don’t know despite the Internet. The more I learn the more I am afraid of the consequences BIID might involve. I try to be realistic. BIID is not so strong that I can’t live without for extended periods. But it is always resurging. I don’t actively want an SCI now because, though I would accept it if it happened. But I have no clue what the future will bring and if my desires will change and get stronger.

By: Michelle

Michelle — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 23:25:25 +0000

*So, this guy who has had BIID for over 75% of his life has now decided to “drop the idea altogether” because of the risks?*

Just reacting on this piece. I think it can be compared with what sometimes happens with GID. Having the feelings, troubles is one thing, but based on “costs and benefits”, some decide to refrain from doing something about it. I’ve been there, without any success though. Some, however, try to ignore the costs, pay no attention to them, but reality will strike back at a certain time (in case of GID it’s often the therapist starting about the list of possible consequences and complications).

By: Elizabeth

Elizabeth — Thu, 16 Nov 2006 17:14:20 +0000

This reminds me of the whole “pro-ana” and eating disordered community. I don’t know how many girls have asked how to “become anorexic” or think eating disorders (the wasting types) are some sort of diet. But, in their defense, most of them are in fact girls, and not full-grown adults. I wonder if BIID will one day be “trendy” like other disorders tend to be. Then again, could wanting to anorexic be a form of BIID? Great, now my brain hurts.

By: Sean

Sean — Wed, 15 Nov 2006 05:30:17 +0000

@Claire, yes, people do deal with it in different ways. And I think it’s one thing to be ashamed and repressing, yet another to be active in BIID groups and have no clue.

@John, I think that’s part of the thing for me, the concept that you could just change your mind about BIID.

By: Sophie

Sophie — Wed, 15 Nov 2006 05:27:31 +0000

I think I’ve been able to suppress these feelings for the first 19 years of my life simply because I was oblivious. Growing up in such a rigid home meant I didn’t even give these sorts of things a second thought. Once I started exploring this side of myself I couldn’t get away from all the SCI sites, even BEFORE I knew my feelings had a name. I was ashamed to admit that I wanted a SCI, but that didn’t stop me from doing the research.

By: John

John — Wed, 15 Nov 2006 01:54:28 +0000

Sean,
It is hard to get into the minds of others, such as that guy, but a couple of things about BIID are true with me and probably you:
* I have spent way too much time reading about spinal cord injuries, obsessively, like a moth to a flame, everything, including all of the nasty stuff.
* This isn’t an ‘idea’ I’ve gotten that can easily be discarded when the unpleasant truth comes out regarding what life with an SCI might be like.
Finally, unlike Claire, I’ve never been able to suppress my feelings even for a decade but unlike Sean I haven’t gone public.

By: Claire

Claire — Wed, 15 Nov 2006 00:55:18 +0000

Sean, I don’t know about this particular guy, but different people deal with their transability in different ways. When I first realized that I was a wannabe, that there were people like me, and that the disabled community despised us, I dealt with it by ruthlessly supressing the feelings inside me for nearly a decade. I didn’t want to go out and do research on my desired impairement to learn more; I was deeply ashamed of my feelings, hid my head in the sand, and just wanted it all to go away.