Comments on: Get used to it http://transabled.org/thoughts/get-used-to-it.htm Talking about Body Integrity Identity Disorder - Just another disability! Fri, 29 Aug 2008 23:02:16 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5.1 By: Wheelmouse http://transabled.org/thoughts/get-used-to-it.htm#comment-390 Wheelmouse Sat, 23 Dec 2006 20:24:53 +0000 http://transabled.org/thoughts/get-used-to-it.htm#comment-390 Hi, I had a response written up to this comment, and decided to leave it on my computer overnight before posting it, and then when I tried to post, your site was down for a brief time. So my original post is lost forever. This one might not be so articulate but I still want to say what I had on my mind. I am transabled. My boyfriend understands me, and for this he is amazing. As far as the populace goes, I would say he is in the 99th percentile of those who can accept and understand the viewpoints of others. Those who can understand transability are a rare breed, rarer then the transabled themselves. They are amazing people. To understand the transabled mind, one has to adopt and entirely different worldview then the worldview one already owns. One must cast aside the idea that disability is the lowest common demonator, that disability is a terrible trait to possess, that disabiity is something you wish upon your enemies as punishment, or the (insane...) idea that disability is punishment doled out by the hand of god. She cannot understand you because she still sees disability in this way. She sees it as a punishment, a limit of oneself, a force that lowers human potential, etc. Seeing disability this way - no one would want it. The problem lies then, not in how she views you, but how she views disability. Of course we know that to you, a life as a paraplegic is just the opposite. It frees you, allows you to live to your full potential, and is a gift. That said, without the right motivation to change, people will not change. Your wife is trying, she just isn't there yet. On her worldview changing journey, it might be helful if you cut her a little bit of slack. It's not easy to be in the 99th percentile. If you expect/require her to be amazing, she will probably not meet your expectations. Hi,
I had a response written up to this comment, and decided to leave it on my computer overnight before posting it, and then when I tried to post, your site was down for a brief time. So my original post is lost forever. This one might not be so articulate but I still want to say what I had on my mind.

I am transabled. My boyfriend understands me, and for this he is amazing. As far as the populace goes, I would say he is in the 99th percentile of those who can accept and understand the viewpoints of others.

Those who can understand transability are a rare breed, rarer then the transabled themselves. They are amazing people. To understand the transabled mind, one has to adopt and entirely different worldview then the worldview one already owns. One must cast aside the idea that disability is the lowest common demonator, that disability is a terrible trait to possess, that disabiity is something you wish upon your enemies as punishment, or the (insane…) idea that disability is punishment doled out by the hand of god.

She cannot understand you because she still sees disability in this way. She sees it as a punishment, a limit of oneself, a force that lowers human potential, etc.

Seeing disability this way - no one would want it. The problem lies then, not in how she views you, but how she views disability. Of course we know that to you, a life as a paraplegic is just the opposite. It frees you, allows you to live to your full potential, and is a gift.

That said, without the right motivation to change, people will not change. Your wife is trying, she just isn’t there yet. On her worldview changing journey, it might be helful if you cut her a little bit of slack. It’s not easy to be in the 99th percentile. If you expect/require her to be amazing, she will probably not meet your expectations.

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