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First Counselling Session
Written by Sophie on Thursday, June 28, 2007
I had my first counselling session today. It was really good. The lady that I am seeing seems to be the type of person who can remain both impartial and supportive when I talk to her about my problems. After a few minutes of talking, and hinting to her that I had a bigger problem than what was merely written on my referral I felt I was able to open up to her. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t share my “problem” with just anyone. I am always analysing someone almost to the extreme before I make a decision. She admitted she didn’t quite understand as much as someone in my position would, but she seemed to have a really good grasp of the problem.
I explained BIID to her in the usual way, comparing it to GID. I assured her I didn’t want to be a guy and I wasn’t about to run out and make an attempt. She made some really good observations in the hour that I spent talking to her.
- I’m an introvert – I tend to take in information, process it privately, and then produce a nice package at the end that I can show people.
- I’m fairly intelligent and have good goals to keep me going in life.
- I need to move away from my parents and live independently as the person I feel I’m meant to be. Including the wheelchair. She agreed that me using my wheelchair is not only a good form of therapy, it gives me a greater amount of mobility compared to when I’m trying to be “normal. I am a lot more active, and I have more interest in life when I am living it from my wheelchair.
- Having people try to “cure” me from “the eliminate the whole problem” standpoint simply wouldn’t work because they are trying to take away a part of who I am. Losing a part of me is scary, and I already have a vague grasp on that given that my parents are trying to take away that part of me.
I shared with her several of my life experiences, things that happened in the past. I told her about my parents. A lot was discussed in the hour that we spent talking, and in a way I’m surprised I opened up that much. She could see the immense toll BIID has on my life from the perspective of having to hide a part of who I am to the people I love most. We also discussed aspects of my life like work (or lack of), my family etc.
We agreed I didn’t really need any help from the work point of view. I know what I am meant to do and I am essentially getting “my A into G”. We are going to spend the next five or so sessions discussing who I am as a person, how I’ve grown that sort of thing. It was such a relief today to be able to talk to someone in real life as the real me, and not feel condemned for it.
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9 Comments
2 On 28 June, 2007, Sophie said:
LOL
1, yes
2, yes u have been telling me that…I don’t see any way of financially making that happen right now
In a way it all felt like at counselling was able to be myself, and then I got thrust back home (mum came home while I was out and is in the WORST mood).
Oh, Sophie, whatever it takes, you need to get out from under Mum’s thumb and be your own woman!
I’m sleepy so this is short. It’s really cool to see you’re trying therapy.
This seems good, I hope for something like this, I have been seeing a counsellor for the past 3 weeks, and will tell about it at some piont, hopefully I get a similar reaction
6 On 30 June, 2007, Lucien said:
Hi there. I found an interesting thing that may be of interest to you or your councellor from the DSM IV. Here is the link to it: http://psyweb.com/Mdisord/jsp/somatization.jsp
It is on somatization disorder. Could somatization disorder be a bi-product of biid? Talk it over.
7 On 30 June, 2007, Sophie said:
I only glossed over it but I personally think it couldn’t be a bi product of biid as transabled people tend to know exactly what they “need”, even when a person doesn’t have a specific disability in mind will have researched these thinks extensively. We also don’t seek treatment for fake illnesses.
8 On 30 June, 2007, Sean said:
Considering that Dr. First is an editor of the DSM, and that he hasn’t made the links between BIID and somatisation, I suspect that there is no such link :)
Oh yeah, kinda off topic, but I remember something that has me a little worried. I was at the Denver Museum of Nature and Science, and was talking to a friend why I hate the infra-red camera, and I showed him why: if blue is cold, and white is hot, then why was I blue and green on the extremities?
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1 On 28 June, 2007, Sean said:
Thank you for letting us know about your therapy experience. I’m *so* glad you finally went and that you found good value in your meeting.
I’m very glad she agrees about the wheelchair as a therapeutic tool.
Points #1 and #2, well, yeah… Doh. Surely you knew that about yourself? :)
Point #3, what the heck have I been telling you for all these months? :)
Point #4, is a very good insight.
So now the question is, how are you going to handle your parents with that support you are getting from your therapist? :) No need to answer at this point, just something for you to think of.