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Deafies don’t wanna be cured, why should we?
Written by Sean on Friday, November 9, 2007
A few weeks ago, there was a heated discussion on a discussion forum, about Body Integrity Identity Disorder. The forum focuses primarily on people who are deaf. I suspect many of the participants consider themselves Deaf rather than just deaf (capital D vs. regular d). The thread starter referred to BIID as something creepy and shocking and disgusting. The majority of participants felt the same way, but there were a few people who came to get a better understanding of what BIID means for us.
Several transabled individuals participated in the thread, doing their best to explain what it means to have BIID, to give a different perspective to the other, non-transabled, participants. As is often the case among the disability community, people can get really aggressive against those of us with BIID. Our arguments were mostly ignored (I was tempted to say that they fell on deaf ears, but the pun was too easy, and perhaps not in such good taste…).
Among the many things we said was one argument that seems to have convinced a few of the readers on that forum was that "most Deaf folks don’t want to be cured, why should we?". Perhaps a quick explanation of the difference between Deaf and deaf is necessary here, for those of us who don’t know. deaf, with a small d, is the state of being deaf, of having no, or partial hearing. Deaf with a capital D is representative of a culture, of a sense of identity. People who refer to themselves as Deaf do not like the concept of "hearing impaired". They say their hearing can’t be impaired, as they don’t have any. They further say that they don’t want to be "cured", as being deaf, and/or Deaf is only a problem when society isn’t able to deal with them in their own language. Ok, so I’ve simplified a bit (a lot!), but it gives you an idea.
So I was able to use a similar argument, pointing out that BIID in and of itself is not the problem. We don’t need a *cure*, we need to be able to get the treatment options that are most appropriate (up to and including "pretending" and/or surgery), just like Deafies don’t need to be cured, they just need to be able to use Sign Language, or TTY’s. The argument seems to have convinced a few people.
I thought the last post in the thread was most appropriate. Deafilmedia said:
At Gallaudet, Deaf people attack other deaf people. I feel most deaf people don’t really care about anybody but their own selves.
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12 Comments
Wow… I’d left from that discussion before jillio joined the battle. With people like that in the medical/MH field, it’s amazing that anyone ever gets the treatment they need…
3 On 10 November, 2007, Claire said:
I have to say I was shocked and dismayed at the total inability of the majority of that community to feel any sense of compassion or to try to understand what it might be like to have some other impairment (ours is mental) than their own.
I have found a lot more understanding in the wheeling community than I did in that one. Yes, there are wheelers who don’t get it, but I have met MANY wheelers who are in fact able to *get* the fact that a mental illness can be painful and that we are human beings like everyone else. And that we deserve some kind of respect and respite from our pain however we can find it.
Interesting, isn’t it?
4 On 10 November, 2007, Sean said:
@rorsach, I don’t think that is the solution. In many ways we need them. Just like we need society’s support. Without at broad(er) acceptance, social pressure on the medical community will never allow surgical alternatives to happen.
@kyla, indeed, it’s amazing that there are such people in the medical field, it’s an uphill battle :(
@claire, I have a suspicion that you are encountering more accepting wheelers because you are meeting more wheelers than anything else. Threads VERY similar to that one on AllDeaf happened on Paradevo, and other community forums for/by wheelchair users.
5 On 10 November, 2007, Sophie said:
I’ve seen more threads like that than I’d care to say. I remember one thread was moved to a different section of the forums so it wasn’t available for public viewing, they were getting that annoyed with us coming to post. I’ve been learing a lot lately about choosing my battles, hence the fact that I choose not to take part in discussions like the one in this forum.
6 On 10 November, 2007, Claire said:
Yes I’ve been in those at Paradevo but even there, there would be a few people who would stick up for us or show understanding. At the Deaf forum, almost nada. A lynch mob.
7 On 10 November, 2007, Marie said:
All this because I started a blog cos I need to be deaf! Yeesh.
Frustrating to see the people who had zero desire to consider any arguments.
I don’t really have anything else to say on the topic, just sad to see the hate.
The capital ‘d’ deaf representing a culture may only be a small minority. It would appear based on the comments posted here that it is very much some sort of exclusive club, and they do not want anybody else, not just BIID people to join in. I am sure they are as equally closed to visual, intellectual or other physical impairmnets. This seems to play out on a daily basis in society. Seems some have never grew up out of the sandbox.
For the time being, it may be that we are only able to get support from each other, this should be no shock to us. But, do not let the exclusive club mentality of a few form our opinion of an entire group.
As both a member of that forum, and someone interested in (but not suffering from) BIID, I can say I have the urge to slap people just once in a while. As disabled people, we feel we have the right to arbitrarily judge others as having ‘acceptable’ disabilities and ‘unacceptable’ disabilities. We fight for our rights to live our lives as Deaf people without being forced to abandon our native languages in favor of spoken language. We fight to be able to take off our hearing aids and to be able to decide against cochlear implants. We fight against genetic testing laws that deem us inferior as human beings.
At the very same time, we fight against other’s rights. We consider psychological illness not “the same” and not worthy of the same rights and the same respect. For the life of me, I cannot understand it. Who am I to arbitrarily point at some transgendered person and say that they shouldn’t be allowed to live life as they please? In that same thought, who am I to tell someone they shouldn’t be allowed to even -consider- alligning their image as a disabled person with their physical body, if they do not want to face the wrath of me, a geniunely disabled person who came by it the honest way?
Needless to say, we don’t all think that way- I sure don’t. This brings to mind my experience with another member there, a lovely woman who is one of the few others on the forum who I can share my experiences as a DeafBlind person with and be understood. One day, I expressed my desires to lose the rest of my vision sooner than later, so that I could live the life I wanted now without fear of what the next day might bring. She said she felt the same way about wanting to lose her hearing. Neither of us found the other one disturbing or different in any way- I still respect her, and I hope she still respects me. I wish I had spoken up- or that people like her had spoken up, because nobody should ever be told they are inferior on the basis of disability- even psychological disability.
10 On 6 February, 2008, Sean said:
Aleser, thank you for posting here. Your message is very much appreciated. As you can see, the hatred spewed in that (and other) threads is really hard to take. I wish more people had the kind of understanding you do. It would make life much easier.
And I fully understand your desire to lose your residual sight. Better to be done and over with so you can move on than remain in limbo. By the way, do you find this site easy to navigate and use?
11 On 17 February, 2008, Helene said:
Hello, I’m the Deafblind person Aleser mentioned. I too wish I had spoken up sooner.
I do not have this condition but I have suffered from mental health issues so know how unsypathetic some people can be.
As to my Deafness, as I told Aleser, I was very glad to lose the rest of my hearing. Now people have no choice but communicate with me the way I want them to. Via none verbal methods.
I feel Signing should be used with all Deaf and nobody should be made to struggle with the oral only approach. The Deaf have their communication rights violated but I noticed it too, when I attended Doncaster Deaf college and became Blind for psycosomatic reasons, that they don’t really treat those with other disabilities too well. In fact a Social worker for the Deaf went so far as to say she wouldn’t help because I was also blind. I’m all for Deaf Pride and signing etc.. but only wish they would show others more tolerance too.
12 On 19 February, 2008, Claire said:
Hi Helene, it is nice to see you here! Thanks for reading.
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1 On 9 November, 2007, Rorschach said:
I could write a lot but really it all boils down to 2 words.
Fuck ‘em.