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Confidence
Written by Sophie on Sunday, January 13, 2008
It’s a feeling that most of us associate with. We feel much more confident interacting with people when we are portraying the person we feel we a meant to be. I’ve learnt lately it’s easy to fall into the trap of becoming too withdrawn and shy for my own good if I depend on these feelings of confidence when I am in my chair. Sure that feeling will never change but I have learned lately that one can still build up confidence, even if it is a different type.
I run on defensive mode a lot given my circumstances. I am lucky that my BIID has been in recession lately, it hasn’t been affecting me to the same extent. I’m trying to take advantage of this reprieve by enjoying the good things in my life that don’t involve wheelchairs like playing World of Warcraft (WoW). I have been in my guild in WoW for a long time now, my older brother originally introduced me to the game. I kind of look up to and respect the leaders of my guild, they have a lot more experience with me and most of them are in the army or ex-army. They had a chat with me the other day and they told me when I first joined they thought I was incredibly shy and lacking in confidence. They think the game has helped me build up my confidence and that I’m using this to become a better person.
They don’t know my background beyond the fact that my mother is a huge pain in the ass. Knowing that people can see me changing for the better means a lot to me. It’s like that saying (I think it’s in the bible, not sure).
“Give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.”
I can’t change the fact that I naturally feel more confident as a wheeler, I can’t change the fact (now) that I got myself in financial poo, I can change where my life is headed by working on my bad traits that I have recognised.
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5 Comments
2 On 14 January, 2008, Sophie said:
Yea I know that it’s a joke in WoW, my main char is a male blood elf
3 On 16 January, 2008, Claire said:
I too feel more confident out in the world as a wheeler.
But I’m skeptical about finding confidence by hiding away from the real world by living our lives online. I feel it too. When I’m not out and about in the real world in my chair, I just want to sit on the computer. It’s a crutch and an illusion. It’s not real, and can never — should never — take the place of interacting in real life with real people. It can help, but too much dependence on it can be ultimately unhealthy.
4 On 23 January, 2008, Sophie said:
I totally relate to that Gordo, I find it easier to live life as a hermit so to speak when I’m not interacting with people from the viewpoint that I feel I’m meant to be. It’s so easy to fall into the trap of allowing oneself to become a hermit rather than to learn other ways of becoming confident.
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1 On 14 January, 2008, Jay said:
God, give us grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed,
courage to change the things which should be changed,
and the wisdom to distinguish the one from the other.
Beautiful prayer (Sorry, not in or from the bible), which author is in fact unknown. Origin date too (ofcourse). Names metioned are:
- St. Francis of Assisi
- Theodor Wilhelm (pseudonym Friedrich Oetinger) (1702- 1782)
- Reinhold Niebuhr (1942 or 1943)
The funny thing is that you talked about WoW. But did you know that the prayer is in it! In the game World of Warcraft: The Burning Crusade, one of the Blood Elves’ speech recordings has one elf reciting the prayer. He breaks down half way through, overcome with a craving for magic, which Blood Elves are addicted to.
It’s Nothing important, but maybe you like to know.
Grtz, Jay