Body image
Written by Sean on Thursday, March 22, 2007
Ahhh, body image, what a complicated thing. A complicated and very personal thing. Sometimes influenced by society, sometimes going against mainstream. I see my ideal body image as a para, with limp and atrophied legs. This is far from what society at large sees as ideal, and quite different from what other transabled individuals might seek.
Brilliant ad from The Body Shop:
"There are 3 billion women who don’t look like
supermodels and only 8 who do."
The concept of perfection is an elusive one. An anorexic may think their emaciated body isn’t thin enough, because they feel pressured to fit into one mold or another. There is a segment of society that seems to push the idea that a woman must be thin to be beautiful (if you look at women’s fashion sizes nowadays, you can certainly fall into the trap of thinking that anything bigger than skin and bones is too much).
The thing is, no segment of society (to my knowledge) prompts us to feel that atrophied legs, or missing legs, or unfonctioning eyes are part of the ideal canons of beauty.
An amputee is missing a limb. According to society’s view, that is less than perfect. Yet, in the eye of the amputee wannabe, it is what they are supposed to be like, it is "perfect". Yet, for me, the idea of a missing limb is that of a less than perfect body. I don’t really care about "perfection", I just want to have my body reflect how I feel inside. Missing limbs don’t fit my body image. By the same token, having paralysed limbs is certainly not fitting an amputee wannabe’s body image, and may even disgust them.
I’m not sure how I arrived at the idea that being paralysed is what I need to be, that it is more the "true" me. I can’t explain how it is that I am so much more comfortable in my own skin interacting with people when I’m in the chair. I certainly can’t tell you why I wish my legs to be thin and atrophied and limp and not working. It just is.
I wish there was a concrete reason that we could all point to. Perhaps some kind of brain map. It would feel less confusing, and would lend some sense of validation to the feelings. As it is, it’s just too easy for others to say "it’s all in our head" (well, it is, but…)
And how can we separate the concepts of body image related to BIID and those related to "big breasts, blond hair, strong pecs", etc? These are so-called ideals of beauty, generally accepted by society. Amputees, paras and other impairment aren’t.
I’ve heard it said in the past (and I admit to have used that comparison myself), that wanting to become a para is not really different than wanting to get breast implants, or a tummy tuck. In fact, someone commented on one of my post saying: " Are we even significantly different from one who grows tired of being blonde, and dyes her hair red? Or one who feels inadequate with a B-cup, and gets her breasts augmented through plastic surgery? To my mind, the answer is: “Not really”. "
I have to disagree with that. As much as I like the idea, it makes our "thing" appear so much more benign than it is. Setting aside the breast implant or tummy tuck surgery that goes wrong, removing a limb or transecting the spinal cord results in a rather significant impact way in one’s life. One would hope that it would be mostly a positive impact, but is more to suddenly finding oneself an amputee or a paraplegic than having to buy larger bras.
Ah well, another moot point perhaps, I’m not becoming a para anytime soon. I can’t test any of those theories for myself.
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