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Home / Thoughts / Guerilla by blog, or the vagaries of friends

Guerilla by blog, or the vagaries of friends

Written by Sean on Saturday, August 5, 2006

Yesterday, I thanked a friend for something she did, and added that I couldn’t reciprocate the gesture (for reasons I can’t go into here). This friend said "thanks for being so open minded" and disappeared from chat abruptly. I followed up with an email asking what was going on (admitedly, my email was abrupt in reaction to her reaction). The response was an accusation of hypocrisy.

Today, on her blog, she says that people should know better than to push her around, and that getting on her bad side is ugly. Well, considering the timing, you’ll forgive me for thinking this is aimed at me. Of course, she might just say I flatter myself

So, I’ll apologise for the tone of my email. I’ll even explain said tone by pointing out that I’ve been dealing with the same kind of thing in my relationship (she gets in a huff, makes a statement, then retreats). Out of the left field. My reasons do not excuse the tone, hence, I’ll repeat my apology.

But from there to think I was deliberately pushing her, there’s quite a stretch. You’ve said "don’t be a bloody hypocrit". I’ll say "don’t play the bloody victim".

Further than that, I won’t wear accusations of hypocrisy. The interested party may read this, and she’ll know it’s directed at her. Other parties won’t understand what I’m talking about, and that’s ok. I’ve explained to her why I said what I said and it has nothing to do with being a hypocrit, and everything to do with timing and being cautious in a new project.

Disappearing friends

And while I’m at it, I may as well say goodbye to Julie. Julie was such a close friend for so many years. But in the last 5, 6 years, she’s all but disappeared from my life. I tried emailing her, and she’d respond. She’d explain that she was really busy, lots of work, long commutes, poor access to email from home. All that is understandable, yes. Came up with suggestions, even provided her with a free email account so she wouldn’t have to use work based email for things that might mention transability. Pffft, evaporated. So, Julie, I don’t know if you read this, but I’m tired of making the first move to keep the friendship going. Perhaps I should have taken the clue a long time ago. You know where to find me.

[tags]Transabled, Hypocrisy, Misunderstanding, Friendship, Blog [/tags]