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BIID Community?
Written by Sean on Saturday, December 1, 2007
We keep talking about the "BIID community". We refer, I guess, to this lose grouping of individuals who have Body Integrity Identity Disorder, or those who hang with us, whether folks with disabilities, our spouses, friends, devotees, pretenders, etc. But are we really a community?
What makes a community?
Merriam Webster has a nice long definition:
a unified body of individuals: as a: state, commonwealth b: the people with common interests living in a particular area; broadly : the area itself (the problems of a large community) c: an interacting population of various kinds of individuals (as species) in a common location d: a group of people with a common characteristic or interest living together within a larger society (a community of retired persons) e: a group linked by a common policy f: a body of persons or nations having a common history or common social, economic, and political interests (the international community) g: a body of persons of common and especially professional interests scattered through a larger society (the academic community)
Soooo, a unified body of individuals…
What, then, unifies us?
Is it a – state or commonwealth? No. Is it b – common interests living in a common area? No. Is it c – interacting population in a common location? No. Is it then d – people with common characteristics living together in a larger society? That’s getting closer, but… No. Ok, so is it e – grou; linked by a common policy? Nope, not that either. What about f – a common history, or social/economic and political interests? That’s also getting closer, but, not quite. How about g – persons of common professional interests? Errr, no.
None of these bits of definition fit. We do have common characteristics but we don’t live together in a larger society, unless you want to take the world as a larger society. We do have *some* common social goals (provision of surgery as an accepted method of treatment), but that’s not on the agenda for everyone that hangs around in what we refer to as the BIID community. Frankly, none of these really fit.
But let’s play, let’s assume that we *are* indeed a community, and we define it as "A group of people sharing common characteristics and interacting in specific areas of the internet "
That doesn’t mean that we necessarily have anything else, or more, in common than BIID, does it? And if we have only BIID in common, is it any surprise that we don’t always get along?
Let’s face it, we are diverse. We come from different countries, different cultures. We have different languages and different life experiences. We have different interests, even within our "common" one – BIID. Some of us need to be paraplegics, others amputees. Others yet blind or deaf, or toothless! Some of us believe surgery is the only option for happiness, others yet don’t know, or want to try everything short of surgery. Some of us have achieved their preferred body, others are only partway there, and the majority of us feel that we are doomed never to know happiness. Some of us have been dealing with depression, others not. Some of us are women, other men, gay, straight, and in-between. Some of us have a touch of devoteeism in them, others are "full-blown" devs as well as dealing with BIID, while others have no particular sexual attraction to people with disabilities.
Yeah, we’re diverse indeed.
Some of us connect on one level or another. Just like we connect with people in our "real life", or just like we don’t connect. We just can’t be expected to get along with everyone, just because we happen to have the same weird and unusual condition, can we?
And if the only thing, as a community, we have in common is BIID, and even that isn’t quite as straightforward a commonality as one might think at first glance, then, perhaps it’s no wonder we have so much in-fighting.
It always bothers me when people fight in our community. We’re fractionned enough, ostracized and dismissed enough as it is by the world at large. Devotees are rejected, by and large, by people with disabilities as some sort of predatory perverts. Wannabes are rejected by society as being sick and twisted and in need of the proverbial help (which incidentally simply doesn’t exist yet). Why can’t we join together, and stop fighting?
There’s been incidents on different forums where people insults other forum participants, and these forums are there to establish a rapprochement between all parties involved. Heck, regular participants even post anonymously in order to hide their identity in order to be really nasty. How hippocritical, wouldn’t you say?
In the words of some famous guy, "can’t we just get along?"
But perhaps we can’t, because we’re not, in fact, a community after all.
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8 Comments
2 On 22 December, 2007, Sean said:
Hello Sandy,
So you’re saying that since you found religion, you don’t have BIID anymore?
And I hate to point this out, but Jesus wasn’t actually born on 25 December, most of the religious scholar agree on that, and many of them suggest a March birth. I don’t mind if you want to celebrate it so near the Equinox though ;)
3 On 22 December, 2007, Claire said:
He is indeed the way, the truth and the life.
But having a mental illness is not a sin. Nowhere in the Bible does Jesus condemn the mentally and/or physically ill as sinners.
No, faith will not cure BIID or any other condition. Faith will help individuals determine what is really important and what should be prioritized in one’s life. We have all been blessed with freedom of thought, sometimes we need a kick in the rear to use it properly.
Actually, all historical evidence points to the fact that the man called Jesus, and referred to in the bible, never actually existed at all – born in December, March, or outside of space-time entirely.
While there is frequently wisdom to be found within fictional writings (many mythologies are good for this – the bible is only one of these), i’m not sure how putting faith in someone who never existed will help with ANYTHING.
Then again, perhaps there is something to the idea of dismissing the real world, and living in a mythological fantasyland.
7 On 19 February, 2008, Leadership? » transabled.org » Blogging about BIID said:
[...] course, I’m not sure there *is* such a thing as a transabled or BIID community. And if there isn’t a community to be a leader of, perhaps there can’t be [...]
8 On 27 April, 2008, Tricky questions » transabled.org » Blogging about BIID said:
[...] I’ve heard disability rights people say there isn’t really a disability community, and I’ve argued that perhaps there isn’t really a BIID community. So my answers to you here are only my answers, and may not be fully representative of how other [...]
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1 On 21 December, 2007, Sandy said:
Hi Sean, I haven’t been here for a while as I felt I didn’t belong to this “community” any longer. Yes, I found some common aspects in this community. I was amazed not to be alone with my BIID. In my very first e-mail to you I wrote that for me it’s a sin. So I had to give it up, and I did. I am very happy after that final decision to stop. I wished everybody here would find this fulfilling life in Jesus whose birtday we celebrate next week. He is the way, the truth and the life.