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Being told about new paras.
Written by Sean on Tuesday, April 17, 2007
My partner, as she often does, was reading bits and parts of the news she’s fetching online. I’m not sure why she does it, but she does, despite me having voiced lack of interest in the news. Perhaps she feels it makes us closer in some way, I don’t know. But I digress. Tonight, she was telling me about the shooting at Virginia State. She focused on one particular victim who jumped out of a window, and injured her back sufficiently that she’s unlikely to walk again.
It’s not the first time she does that. She often "informs" me about people who are now paralysed, whether quads or paras. I’m not sure what the purpose is there either. Is she just sharing information? Does she think that because I need to be paralysed, I want to hear about everyone who is newly injured? Is it that she thinks that if I hear about enough people who became spinal cord injured without wanting it, I’ll change my mind and realise how lucky I am not to be paralysed? Is it that she wants to make me envious, as a way to needle me?
I honestly don’t know.
I wish she’d stop though, because each time she mentions it, it causes longing. It makes me feel miserable to think of the injustice of it all: they don’t want it and it destroys their lives, whereas we want it and it would complete our lives.
It’s a bit like adding insult to injury (no pun intended), isn’t it? Not only do I have to know I’m not a para and am unlikely to ever be one, but I have to be reminded of the fact that other people get injured.
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4 Comments
2 On 19 April, 2007, Claire said:
I can never get over the irony of the fact that it always tragically happens to people who don’t want it. While we would gladly shoulder that burden in their stead. But unfortunately for both of us, life doesn’t work like that.
4 On 3 May, 2007, jocelyn said:
this actually happens to most of my friends with SCI as far as I know. I think it’s part of the experience when you have an obvious disability or difference that people who are part of the mainstream (as I am assuming your partner is) take pains to point out or recall others who they perceive to be “like” you.
I use a wheelchair, and I’ve often found that newer friends or acquaintances, even family members and occasionally my parents will send me news clippings or tell me about another para who is doing XYZ thing here or there. I’ve always thought it’s a form of them trying to “bridge the gap” that they perceive in difference between themselves and you.
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1 On 18 April, 2007, jen said:
I thought of this yesterday when I heard about the shootings, and there was nothing, nothing gleefully devotee about it. I wondered how many paras were made that day and the hard road they would have ahead of them.
Along with that was hearing the news that one of the best researchers of neuromuscular conditions (especially known for his work with CP) was killed yesterday.