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Home / Thoughts / Always seen as that guy who used to wanna

Always seen as that guy who used to wanna

Written by Sean on Wednesday, May 3, 2006

So the other day, I started wondering: "Would I be accepted any better [by the disability community] if I actually did acquire the SCI I so dearly wish for?" . Sadly, I think the answer is no.

This wondering came after a para on a board I frequent said that

You know Sean, I’ll just bet that there IS a doctor somewhere who’d surgically transect your spinal cord for you; some guy, some clinic in Mexico or Columbia or Ukraine or Pakistan

Yes, I’m willing to bet that there *is* indeed a doctor somewhere that would be willing to transect my spinal cord for me. Of course, the problem is actually finding such a doctor. I’ve done a little attempt at finding one (you may have read about this unsuccesful attempt). But it’s not just a question of finding the first willing surgeon.

I don’t want to end up with a spinal infection that would kill me, or fall prey to some unethical organ smuggler (ok, so this one’s fictional, but <shudder> so easy to imagine happening). So finding a surgeon is a bit akin to searching for a needle in a haystack.

But let’s say I did find a surgeon willing to "do me", and that it was safe and ethical and hygienic. And that I became a para, a real, genuine, true para due to a lesion of the spinal cord… Let’s imagine that for a moment… <closing my eyes and daydreaming>

Right, back to this blog entry…

Either I come on as a para, and forget my "old" wylz persona online, or I am the para-that-used-to-wannabe. I don’t think anyone that knows me as being transabled will ever be able to see past that. If I were to speak about my experiences as a para, how likely is it that it would be dismissed because I chose to be a para?

I hate to be so cynical, but I can’t help myself… Prove me wrong, please do prove me wrong. Oh, but to prove me wrong, I’d have to be a "real" para, wouldn’t I? So, have you got that name/address for that elusive surgeon?