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All Tied Up
Written by Claire on Saturday, November 18, 2006
I went searching today to find something to use to strap my legs together. I don’t like how they open when I’m sitting in the chair; it’s not very ladylike.
I went looking online to see what such a leg strap actually looks like and I found one online at SpinLife.com. I didn’t buy it, but I figured I could easily come up with something like that. I found it in the black nylon shoulder strap from a gym bag. I put it on, strapped my legs together, and wow…
Claire’s strapped legs
There is something really intriguing about having my legs tied up like that. It makes me FEEL impaired, as if I actually need the wheelchair go get around now. All the time I’ve been using this chair, I never felt the least like I needed it, except psychologically. But now, with my legs tied up, I can’t just get up and walk away, even though I know that really, it’s as easy as taking 30 seconds to remove the strap, it somehow makes a difference. I feel restricted, "bound" to the chair. And I love that feeling.
All I wanted was my knees nicely together, I didn’t expect this. But it’s an awesome feeling. Can’t wait to wheel around the house tonight, after everyone goes to bed, with my legs tied up!
This experience also hit home that my real need, is, indeed, to be a para. Lying about having some condition that requires the use of a chair will never be anything but a pale imitation of the real thing. Because at any time, I can just get up and walk away…
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2 Comments
2 On 8 December, 2006, Claire said:
Hi Sandy. I have talked to other transabled people for whom “helplessness” is a big part of it, something they desire and need. But I’m not one of them. I’m an “I can do it myself” kind of person, and being in a wheelchair doesn’t change that. When I spent three days in a chair, I did everything I could on my own, and found it difficult to ask for help, and refused help when offered and I didn’t really need it. For me, strapping my legs is more about making them feel like they can’t move, than about actually feeling helpless. It was a challenge doing everything from a wheelchair, but I was far from helpless. I was quite independent and active, actually.
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1 On 8 December, 2006, Sandy said:
Claire, I understand this feeling. I even don’t need a chair. It is just the difference between acting helpless and actually being helpless - at least for a certain time.