transabled.org

On The Origin Or Cause Of BIID - Abuse Or Not?

by Sean - 4 November 2009

On and off, I hear suggestions that childhood abuse is a cause of Body Integrity Identity Disorder. I disagree, in part, with that. I don’t think I verbalised just why I don’t think that’s accurate, and I’ll do my best to explain where I come from here.

On The Origin Or Cause Of BIID - Abuse Or Not? continues »

Do I Want To Get Cured?

by Tom - 29 December 2008

I have tried to get therapy for the past eleven years or so. Initially, I wasn’t quite sure why, but I felt there was something wrong in my life (other than my BIID) and I expected to discover what that was. I made several attempts with different therapists. Lately, I mentioned my desire to have my left hand amputated and I also mentioned what happened in my childhood with my father and the accident I had when I was eight that left me with a temporarily paralysed left hand and that temporarily also saved me from the sex abuse. Do I Want To Get Cured? continues »

Secret Garden

by Tom - 2 December 2008

I have tried hard, for the past 35 years or so, to overcome my unthinkable desire to loose my left hand. I have tried everything. I have run away from the desire in all directions. I have done many a thing I wouldn’t have done if it wasn’t to flee from my desire. Secret Garden continues »

Je me Souviens

by Tom - 30 November 2008

I have wanted all my life to be disabled. It started at an early age. And the kind of disability doesn’t really matter to me. What matters is just to be disabled. In that sense, I suppose I’m not a "genuine case of BIID", if I may say so. Amputation? Paralysis? Upper limb? Lower limb? One, two, three or four limbs? Or a sensorial impairment? As a matter of fact, I can’t recognise myself as a BIID sufferer in the sense that my "condition" doesn’t involve a specific type of impairment but rather a need to have something different - and disabled - in my body. There are, however, disabilities that I like better than others and, as I explained elsewhere, my body image is basically that of a one handed - an lbe amputee. But it is not just about my own image, since I also admire other disabled persons. Perhaps I am both a BIID case and an admirer.

Je me Souviens continues »