If you read this post and the comments as “anti-devotee”, or “anti-admirer”, I think you misread. It’s not being attracted to people with disabiltiies that is a problem, it’s the bad behaviour, nearing stalking, as described here, that is.

I fall into the camp of being an “admirer” as I’m “devoted” to very little, except good conversation and equality.

In my view, any human that objectifies any other human to a label can not be trusted and I’d not engage with them in any case. For me, the physical aspect of being attracted to a woman with weak legs is totally unexplainable. I have tried for many a long year to “rid” myself of this “attraction” as it brings me ridicule amongst my “able” bodied mates ( yeah, they are living in the dark ages ) and it brings me flack from ( some ) woman who use wheels to get around. Also, at a practical level, it limits my “pool of possible dates”. Don’t get me wrong, I consider myself an attractive guy and I do very well, or as well as I’d like to do, with “the ladies”, so to speak. But I will not lie or pretend to be something that I am not; and that is, capable of finding an “ab” woman, totally physically attractive.

So, as “dis” folks and “non-dis” folks are fond of saying…don’t judge a book by its cover. You’d not like it, and I don’t like it. It is being quick to judge that has caused the divisions in the first place…”you’re ‘disabled’ and therefore a-sexual”. I’m a admirer and therefore dangerious”.

As far as I can see, we’re all just human, and if equality and honesty is not the basis for a relationship or a meeting of individuals then that meeting can not be fully productive.

Peace,
James.

truth.lies.above@googlemail.com

All I can do is shake my head and say “Oh Boy!”. Ain’t no
way I can defend that guy’s
approach (hit) on Claire.

Reminds me of the E*TRADE Baby in one of his TV ads talking about the clown he
hired:

“I really underestimated the creepiness.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3vICft2LMo&feature=channel

Yes, the creepiness oozing from some devos out there just cannot be underestimated or ignored. It’s there.

The creepiness factor sensed during the incident Claire described at the mall, punctuated with the note left on her car windshield, was palpable. (Cringe!!!)

But, your experience is not the first I’ve been told about even in personal discussions with pretender and devo-aware friends who happen to be disabled or who use mobility aids such as chairs, crutches or braces.

It will probably happen again, so I guess you now have
some reference and will develop your response tactics accordingly. Can’t say I
blame you.

Oh, by the way, considering the mall guy’s approach, I’d doubt he has any grasp on the BIID concept, even if he’s seen the term in the past.

/Art

@Cath - I don’t mind devotees in and of themselves…I am one…but I don’t want one hanging around and watching me get in and out of my car.

@Gordo - yeah, fake number! LOL

I’m no chick magnet either (except I s’pose to a bona fide female Devotee)…I don’t think that way would work out well for you when they found out ‘it wasn’t real’ (a disability). The whole Devotee thing ended up working for me, though…

I don’t want to sound like Dante A. Montaigne, L.D.; but Chloe, that may or may not have been a Devotee - I would gamble on it being not, the guy probably just ‘locked on for the ‘easy kill” and round one was just buttering you up, and round two was ‘intel gathering’. As much as I hate to say it he was likely more interested in your ‘boobies’ :p

But yeah, that is a bit creepy. Not just for a devotee, but for ANYONE. Even if it was an able-bodied guy hitting on an able-bodied girl like that, it’s still be creepy. I agree with Dante’s “ballsy” comment too.

I sometimes wonder myself what I’d do if a girl devotee came up to me like that. I’m not really a “chick magnet,” so I wonder if I’d actually take advantage of that and try to snag a girl that way.

The first time was at a party in June. I was using leg braces and crutches. I had a nice conversation with a guy for well over an hour. He didn’t stare at my braces or make any comment at all. Then we went separate ways. Later on at the party I had just sat down by myself, and he came over to sit next to me. We talked some more; then quite suddenly he started looking intently at my braces and asked a LOT of questions: What were the braces like? How do they work? How long have I needed them? How much paralysis do I have? How much sensory loss do I have? How did I get injured? He had already spent almost two hours talking with me by this point, so I didn’t find it impolite by then. I just assumed it was natural curiosity. Then, after a while, he asked me out. He’s made it clear that he finds me cute and sexy.

So why does this guy like me? Does he like the braces? Does he like it that I’m paralysed? Does he feel sorry for me? Am I a brilliant conversationalist? (Umm, no). Am I cute and sexy? (probably not). Does he like my boobies?

Sometimes I feel utterly clueless about things.

Which was worse - thinking he might be a devotee or finding out he knew your car?

…though it sounds more like the begining of the creepy part of a drama/suspense/horror movie about to unfold.

If he’s a Devotee, then I’d have to say he’s the most upfront, ‘ballsy’ one I’ve ever heard of…approaching a woman when she’s in a ‘pack’, is just something men try to avoid, I figure a Devotee would be even more timid. Knowing which vehicle was yours is certainly a bit creepy, though…(he could be an agent from the local espionage agency of your nation :p).

If he is really a Devotee, I s’pose that’s another notch in the ‘W’ Column for the ‘Authenticometer’ :)