Can paraplegic women have sex? And if they can is it enjoyable?
Written by Sean on Wednesday, November 5, 1997
(Note from Sean: In this instance, I didn’t ask our usual friendly para, since he’s male, but asked a woman para friend of mine, I thought the answer would be a little more accurate)
Absolutely yes, paraplegic women can and do have sex. Many are sexually active, bear children and raise them, and take part in any and all aspects of life that anyone else does, just the same as I have as a para since my injury.
I can’t tell you all the ways sex is enjoyable for paraplegic women, only that it either is or isn’t for each individual woman according to her nature and attitude. I can tell you about the enjoyment it brought me then and brings me now.
At the beginning, I had no sensation or movement below my rib cage. Sex at that time was still pleasurable, my breasts still responded and being held tightly was still exciting, but more than that, the mental exhilaration of being wanted sexually was the most pleasurable aspect. I could tell when intercourse had begun by the way my whole body was jostled in rhythm and I could tell when my partner came to climax… so while it was very different, it still reaffirmed my womanhood and still involved very intimate physical contact. (as a side note, I have read that complete spinal cord injury women have been documented as having orgasm regardless of their apparent lack of sensation when deep vigorous penetration happens).
Spinal cord injury women have uniquely different levels and degrees of injury… mine is incomplete and with some nerve healing during the first few years, I regained some movement and much more sensation that I ever expected. So now, while I may move differently, or with much less range than before I was disabled, the physical sensations that go with sex are, as nearly as I remember, as good, or probably better than when I was a normal teenager. I really believe this is mostly due to maturing and learning to relax and know what sex should and can be. I do orgasm, sometimes multiply, and enjoyable, varied and mutually satisfying sex is the norm. The only obstacle to a spinal cord injury woman having a wonderful sex life is the one in the brain of her potential partner. If he is doubtful and never tries, they both would miss out.
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