by Julia - 25 September 2008
Last week I got interviewed by Michael First, whom I wrote an e-mail after I read a post written by Sean over here. One of the questions he asked was something like “Would you like being seen in a wheelchair by others?” – I don’t recall how he put it exactly, though. I actually thought a lot about this question since then. I don’t know why it is, but I’ve always been someone who was rather hiding than outgoing. I never liked being in the center of attention. And I can say that it’s not at all about anyone else but me.
It’s Not About the Others continues »
by Julia - 15 September 2008
Yesterday I was so angry with myself I decided something’s got to change. Angry, because I had to take quite a long ride on subway and walking to get something I needed urgently, I was already in a bad state before (pain) and I knew I’d feel rotten afterwards. But of course I couldn’t get myself to use the crutches.
I’m Forging, or Rather, Limping Ahead continues »
by Julia - 2 September 2008
This is strange. I do have reason to use crutches. I have difficulty walking. My spine is crooked, I am in pain. I have no idea whether my orthopedist would’ve prescribed crutches if I asked her… Well she didn’t do it without my asking, anyway.
Pretending when I’m NOT. continues »
by Julia - 29 August 2008
As a well-trained and experienced full-time-represser (insert smirk here), I’ve experienced that many times: Things you repress eventually sneak out in some way you wouldn’t have expected them to. As soon as I realised that I made some decisions, like confronting myself with the difficult things in my life and not wanting to repress anymore and to do what I can to avoid it. Since I’ve made those decisions, several things really changed in my life. I still find it hard to face things instead of fleeing from them, but I can see the results, which are clearly positive.
BIID sneaking out through the back door continues »
by Julia - 27 August 2008
When I read Gordo’s screenplay, some childhood memories came back. For which I am really grateful, because I’m a digger for memories. I miss the first ten years of my life almost completely, I don’t know where they’ve gone. The couple of sequences I did remember until now mostly had to do with situations in which I were embarassed. Anybody relate to that? ;-) But now I also remember two BIID-related sequences and I want to tell you a bit about them and how it all developed to where I am now.
How well can you hide your own feelings from yourself? continues »