by Jolina - 29 September 2008
Wednesday I cried very hard for more than two hours-and still am not sure why. Nothing had happened beforehand. I was Not nervous, upset or anything. Maybe my subconscious worked through the tension? Or trough at least 34 years of hiding of my BIID? Maybe they were tears of relief that all the pain and hiding will soon have an end? Or maybe I was simply crying over the end of the wonderful Paralympic games?
DAK Diaries - Part 2 continues »
by Jolina - 18 September 2008
My night was hell again - in a way. I was online, watching the Paralympics and partly chatting with different people until 8.45 a.m. Saturday morning. Me being awake again for over 30 hours was not due to nervousness. I think I broke through the wall of that somewhen between Thursday and Friday or Thursday during the day already. Since then I’m headed towards a weird kind of serenity. Unfortunately I am not quite at the point where I don’t care anymore.
DAK Diaries - Part I continues »
by Jolina - 13 September 2008
I’m 42 and my name is Jolina. And I suffer from BIID for at least 34 years. My first BIID memories date from age 8 when I played with Barbie dolls of which I had ripped off the legs. I wanted the dolls to be like I wanted/needed to be. My life was already hell “thanks” to my cold and hateful parents and BIID did not help. I was in so much emotional pain that I banged my head against the wall till it was bloody. My parents saw it but never thought it was necessary to do something about my depression .
Desperate continues »